A Conundrum of Contradictions

The musings of one born in the wrong decade

>Back to Bear Paw June 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 8:02 pm


Well, it’s official: we’re going back to Panguitch, UT next month. My birthday is in August and we haven’t been out roadtripping in months. We’ll be visiting our favorite spot at Panguitch Lake, the Bear Paw Fishing Resort, about 3 and a half hours out of Vegas. We’ve stayed with them three times so far; the first time with friends in June, the second by ourselves in September when the weather was so bad people were capsizing boats, and again in…I’m not sure when actually but the last trip Terrell came up to join us. The cafe has amazing (and fattening) food, there’s indoor plumbing for those who prefer not to rough it, cabins are available (they’re very cute and named things like “gone fish inn”), they have boat rentals or you can bring your own. It’s very peaceful. We’re planning to spend 3 nights, two days fishing and doing general mischief, then taking off for a spin through Bryce Canyon (I think Honey lost some or all of his Bryce pics when the PC went down), also a spin through Zion National Park (no hiking the Narrows this time), and finish with a relaxing dinner at Oscar’s in Springdale before heading home.
I’ve made the reservations. We’re committed.
I think we’ve also recruited Darryll into the madness. He’s never been to any of the above-mentioned places and honestly that’s practically a crime. So God and the finances willing (or not willingon the later part, I really don’t give a damn) we’re going! Stay tuned for details. 🙂

>City Fever June 28, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 10:58 am


It’s been a little slow since my last post. We have a shoot tonight – I found out about it this morning, so I don’t know who the model is. All I know is where and when, plus a one-word description of the theme. More on that next time.

Work is going well. I vacuum a lot. Turns out the stock manager from one of the other stores who works with us on Saturdays has something of a crush on me. He complimented me on my jeans yesterday and said “If you weren’t already married…” Apparently he would be in the running despite our age difference (my 28 to his 45). Honey is not impressed.

Our friend Brandon is home on leave for two weeks. He’s stationed in Hawaii right now but has done two tours in Iraq. He got shot once each time he was there, both in the vest, thank God. We have a couple of free tickets to ride the rollercoaster at New York New York, some for the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay, and some to the Adventure Dome at Circus Circus, so we figured we’d show him a good time while he’s here. For those of you not familiar with Vegas, all those are big casinos on the Las Vegas Strip.

Our buddy Terrell is on our shit list right now. Today he’s hiking the Narrows in Zion National Park with his “friend” Jodi. We’re mad cuz we can’t go. Mostly I think we’re mad we haven’t been able to really go anywhere for quite some time. Pretty sure I can speak for Honey when I say my travel itch is freaking killing me. We get something like city fever (as opposed to cabin fever) and just need to jet outta here. We’re trying to set up a trip to Panguitch, UT here soon. The weather is perfect there now. Terrell went with us last time; you can read about that trip here – ok I lied, that trip was before the creation of this blog or I simply can’t find it. T wants to go this trip as well, plus take Jodi, but doesn’t trust either of their cars, so it’ll be everyone in the rover. We’ll be renting a cabin at Bear Paw, because there won’t be room for everyone plus gear for four campers. Hoping to get that set up here in the next couple weeks. We’ll keep you posted.

I shall leave you with a quote from a very wise book:
“The poor long for riches, the rich long for heaven, but the wise long for a state of tranquility.” – Swami Rama


>Busy Beavers June 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 7:25 pm


There is much to catch up on…We had a shoot with Alethea at the dry lake bed. The wind cooperated (we wanted wind), the light held just long enough, and the model has a beautiful physique, not to mention can jump (gracefully no less) 4 feet off the ground. 30 feet of sheer fabric does come in handy on such occasions.

Meghan O’Hara also graced the lens again, this time in a purple prom dress (her actual prom dress I might add – know anyone else 10 years and one baby later who can still fit into the same dress?). She struggles with crowd anxiety but did an amazing job, no fidgeting or sweaty palms. I spent mot of the shoot trying to achieve [on the model] the 50’s pin-up style, exaggerated, happy expressions by acting a fool and making her laugh. It sorta worked. I kept calling her out for wearing a plastic smile. Closer to the end she got the hang of it.

Last night we shot with “anime character” Mike Henry for our first attempt at a Matrix-style shoot. The edits will be time consuming and probably not ready by the time I get this posted, by if everything comes to fruition it’ll be freaking awesome. That’s not bragging either. I kinda got relegated to watching the gear and occasionally fetching things instead of my usual – another photog was on hand to (attempt to) learn how Honey runs a photo shoot. I don’t know if he did. Either way it sucked for me. I’ve gotten used to being part of the process, predicting what Honey needs based on translation of a vague description of what he wants – it’s complicated but I get it. Anyway I’ll have to get used to it. If I work during shoot time, obviously someone will have to try filling my shoes. Good luck to them – I’m one of a kind. 🙂

Got a little sidetracked. It was a good shoot. Saw two security guards. One ignored us; the other came to tell us the doorway we were using was private property, could we please move, and that 100 or so people had watched the model change shirts on surveillance video. Pretty sure she though we were crazy. She asked if we were tourists, then if we were familiar with the ‘very bad’ area we were in, and why in the world we though a dark alley was ideal for photography. After all that was explained, I’m sure she though we were crazy. To be honest though, it was the cleanest, deserted alley I’ve ever been in and the little foot traffic was of the clean, normal citizen variety (as opposed to the drunken, derelict bum variety). As usual with all our shoots to date so far, we were done in two hours or less.

In other non-photo news, we had a rib cook-out last weekend (that would be my weekend, so Sunday) that was a big success and I got a massage. I could use a massage probably every weekend until I die, so if anyone wants to take pity on me…I was considering just now breaking this into more than one post, making myself look busier, but I don’t think I can get the computer time. So here it is en mass, as it were.

OH! Ok, I don’t know how many people can relate to this but here goes: if you discover one day that your deodorant has stopped working and you smell like a swamp rat two hours out of the shower, and you start using your significant other’s deodorant in a pinch and now smell like the opposite sex when you shouldn’t…I present and suggestion the deodorant crystal, or rock depending on who you talk to and where you shop. Same thing. It last 4x as long, no residue of any kind, and you don’t smell like anything, not bad perform, powder fresh (gag!), or Dad’s cologne from the ‘70’s, nothing. $5 bucks at Whole Foods. Join the hippie madness – you know you want to!!


>Mike Henry – 2nd Photoshoot Ever June 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 1:15 pm


Last night was our first male model shoot. Honey’s been either avoiding, hesitating, or just waiting for the right guy. That sounded bad, huh. Anyway, the trick with photographing male models is…well, making them not look flamingly gay. Don’t believe me? Go on Model Mayhem right now and look at male models. Most have great bodies, rippling muscles, some bad tattoos, but all horrible poses that scream gay porn. The last one I saw was a very well built gentlemen crouching on a pillar shot from the back. I got a better view of his goods than his proctologist. You catch my drift.

Our model and aspiring actor, Mike Henry however, rocked it. He dressed in a nice suit (one that actually fit – boys pay attention), got the hair standing tall, and was thinking up his own poses. He’ll be doing homework before our next shoot: studying GQ magazine for more poses and facial expressions. He had a great attitude and could hold a pose without blinking for longer than I’ve seen anyone else do it. Also, he has lots of ideas for future shoots, so he gets an A+ for participation. I think we shot for 2 hours. At one point Honey was running into the street to get the right angle, dodging cars. We got a lot of good stuff and had a great time.

Oh, and if you’ve got any feedback on Honey’s shots, please comment. He’s not getting anything out of the LVPS message board, though 25 people have looked at it. The screaming shots were my favorite – Mike actually screamed to get the right facial expression. I was expecting a primal roar, but got instead “fuck my nipples!” and “go fuck a goat!” among others. The few passers by were slightly confused.


>Susu’s and Other Fun Things June 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 7:51 am

> I have a few minutes before work, so I thought I’d drop a line. I’ve been working this last week – haven’t been on my feet this much in 6 months or so and it’s taking some adjusting, generally with a lot of Ibuprofen and soaking my poor dogs in cool water each night – and I’ve learned a few important points concerning retail.

1. The guys I work with are convinced my amazing success (I sold $1350 yesterday to their $250) is due to my “susu’s” – I think that’s Phillipino for tits.
2. Tits aren’t everything but they certainly help.
3. In retail, what some guys say about womens’ answer concerning sex is actually true: No in fact means Yes.
4. Chewing gum in front of a client is unprofessional, but so is having tuna breath.
5. Commission is awesome as long as its not all you have to live on.
Today is my Friday and also the day we dress down from slacks and polos and dress up in attire matching the theme of the weekend – today is beach/Hawaiian day. So I’ve wearing some jeans that make my butt look fabulous (this combined with the tits – forget about it!) and one of my Honey’s old Hawaiian shirts, which is at least a size too big for me and will have to do.
Time to go make some money!!

>Monday is now Sunday and that’s Awesome! June 1, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — summerv @ 8:50 am


Hello everyone,

I’ve made some adjustments to the layout, as you may have noticed, and just for the record I have no idea what I’m doing. Hopefully this will make it an easier read and give me room to make the pictures bigger (i.e. visible). I’ve also added a gadget for the first time to help me see where my audience is – assuming I have one – and how often you show up. It’s not stalking, I promise! Feedback is always welcome.

In other news, I’ve survived my first two days in the land of the gainfully employed. My feet feel like bloody stumps from the ankles down, I’m over-dressed (that’s a shocker), and I’ll be spray painting some shoes this afternoon so they’re the appropriate color…all in all, it’s going well. Tomorrow I should get an ID number and start making commissions for myself, instead of making them for whoever is standing next to me at the register. I forgot how much ‘fun’ the public could be. That was dripping with sarcasm in case you missed it. My days off are now Sunday/Monday, which actually makes Monday into a Sunday – for people like me who hate Mondays with a passion for their untiring ability to screw up a whole week – this is a great and amazing thing.

Anyway, things are good even though times are tough. My hubby is building a ring flash for his camera. He got both of us locked out at about 9:30pm last night as part of the process, managed to break us back in since no amount of doorbell ringing could rouse his mom, and declared to my semi-conscious self around 2am when he came to bed that it was a success. Good times.